Imagethief was highly aroused interested in a purely academic way to read about the controversy surrounding a Haagen-Dazs ad in Nanjing in this morning's China Daily. The add features a trio women with various expressions of ecstasy slurping on straws emanating from a luscious ice cream dessert that certain observers feel resembles an enormous, frosty dork with a cherry on top:

In August, the huge advertisements for the milkshake were posted on two Haagen-Dazs shops in Xinjiekou, the city's central business district in Nanjing, capital of East China's Jiangsu Province. Some residents described the ads as being indecent.

With two chocolate or strawberry ice cream balls floating on the cup, the milk shake is considered by some as resembling the male reproductive organs.

The huge milk shake advertisements are posted on the windows of the Eastern Mansion and Jinling Haagen-Dazs shops.

A woman surnamed Ding, who works in Xinjiekou, was quoted as saying by Nanjing Morning Post that the ad "disgusts her" as she passes by the shop several times every day.

"I don't know what others may think. But I can't help feeling offended by such pictures," said Ding.

But not everyone can see the vulgarity behind the ad.

In a small survey conducted by the local newspaper, 14 out of 20 people surveyed said they consider the pictures "beautiful" or at least not offensive. The remaining six respondents agree with Miss Ding in considering the advertisement offensive.

The public's opinion is just as divided as those surveyed."The pictures are so lovely and sometimes it attracts me to enjoy the milk shake when I pass by it," said Zuo Lingli, an employee with the Eastern Mansion Market, which is in the same building of the Eastern Mansion Haagen-Dazs shop.

Go figure. Indeed, the article points out that milkshakes have been doing roaring business of late in Nanjing.

Imagethief would like to make the following observations:

First, of course the ad is suggestive. Sex and fear are the great, timeless marketing tools. It's hard to sell ice-cream with fear, which is best left for politics and hygiene products. That leaves sex. Sex + ice cream. It doesn't take a Madison Avenue marketing genius to put that one together. Haagen-Dazs is made by Unilever and trust me when I say that Unilever needs all the sex it can get.

Second, China is the country that has done more for ice cream-on-a-stick than any other civilization on earth. (Few people know that ice cream-on-a-stick was invented by the first emperor of China, Qin Shi Huang, except that it wasn't ice cream, it was somebody's liver, and it was on a spear.) I mention this because a root through the ice-cream freezer at any local xiaomaibu will uncover an assortment of bizarrely phallic ice cream treats bought and eaten without any apparent sense of irony by a jaw-clamping assortment of sexless grannies and innocent young children. My personal favorite --from an aesthetic point of view-- is the corn-flavored one shaped like an enormous, yellow dildo. A milkshake, even with testicles, is only so suggestive.

Third, is it me, or are the women in the photograph all foreigners? Perhaps this is an overseas ad that has been adapted? Or is it meant to suggest that yangguizi women have loose morals and are easily tempted by even the basest of carnal pleasures? Imagethief is married to Singaporean and hasn't dated a western woman in twelve years, so a more current outlook on this would be welcome. If Imagethief is only a suggestive milkshake away from his own, personal harem, he wants to know. Immediately. There's a Haagen-Dazs shop right downstairs from my office, and I could be reeling in the chicks in no time.

Speaking of that shop, I haven't noticed any such poster downstairs. Here in cosmopolitan Beijing, where we are accustomed to louche imagery from state-run national media (and do note the title of that page -- somebody has a sense of humor), we are, of course, far more resistant to such puerile marketing hijinks.

Never spank another man's monkey dept: On a related note, this story about a penis transplant in China, which already so ghastly-funny that I don't need to add any jokes to it.


  That's nice. Now let me see you lick it.


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