When you go to the local school for a parent-teacher conference in China, it is a wildly different experience than what I’m used to in other countries.

First off, it’s not a one-on-one meeting, you and your child’s teacher, done in gentle tones with any criticism cloaked in a positive spin. No, baby, the gloves are off. It’s all the parents gathered in one classroom, where the teacher gives a very public evaluation of the pupils.

My wife went to our youngest daughter’s parent-teacher day yesterday at Fangcaodi, or “Fragrant Grass,” elementary school, which is in our neighborhood in Beijing. I’ve been in previous years, so I was not surprised when my wife came home and told me what happened. The teacher praised different students for participating in class, having good handwriting, turning in their homework on time, etc. Some students didn’t get much of any praise.

About half the kids’ parents didn’t show up. Our daughter said later that they were generally the parents of kids who are not doing so well. She said they were probably too embarrassed to come for the public evaluation.